Like Dinosaurs, but with fur

Friday, January 30, 2004

I avoid another traffic jam disaster today by bypassing the Rte 30 exit on I-71. i've seen my share of wrecks so far this year and it's only January.

I know i don't blog here everyday. So when i do, i make sure to read ahead on everyone else's blog to make me seem caring and sensitive.
Here's how...

Marky, I feel for you and your credit card woes but I can't understand why American college youths get their choice of 100 credit cards (even the ones with a picture of a weiner on it.) Wait, yes i do! It's because we're AMERICANS.*

Becky, your gloomy story about your job, Eeyore, and your sticky situation makes me feel 4x better about my work week!

Week's Highlights:
~Getting my sweet-ass laptop for work.
~Eating lunch at the Hairy Potter Hogwart's Country Club in Canton (Glenmoor)
~ Tuesday off
~Not having to show up for work today until 1pm.

you my friends, have picked the wrong profession or at least are going to school for the wrong one.

* - if all else fails, marky, get a good job that provides you with a corporate credit card. I got mine today and the first thing i went out and bought was a massage (e trois).

Tuesday, January 27, 2004

It's January and last there was thunder and lightning - an omen that I was to have today off from work.

do Udicki girls even have the Internet anymore?

Monday, January 26, 2004

possible themes describing today's drive home:

Highway to Hell - AC/DC

Back Into Hell - Meatloaf

Riders on the Storm - the Doors

If you wagered that it'd take me over three hours to get home this afternoon, your odds were probably 1000-1, and you've just won BIG.*
Did Scotty, looking out from his perch on Mt. Doom decide to hit me with a wintery blast of ice and also spill ammonia all over I-71, shutting the interstate down? ney, what be you man?

* - the normal drive from Mansfield to Lodi is 40 minutes. Bad weather, let's be generous and say 60 minutes.

Wednesday, January 21, 2004

note:
When i get my own office i will only play METAL from my radio. try low-balling me on an affordable mortgage loan when your ears bleed Motörhead.

Monday, January 19, 2004

I had yet another epiphany today:
I don't miss being a teenager. I've suddenly realized how much teenagers suck.*

* - no offense, Nelly. You are still cool.

Should Ripley (aka Jess Jaeger) have confronted an ALIEN with a side-crisis of Werewolves in Aliens³, that movie would be the bible for all werewolf/alien movies to draw from.

But alas, there were no werewolves and Keith and I had to try really hard to maintain an absolute focus on the movie. You know, I bet the Alien is a nice guy. "You are foul, slimy, and have acid for blood. YOU must be a HORRIBLE monster."
Yes, that's what YOU would say

Friday, January 16, 2004

I am actually looking forward to the weekend!

Item! Next time we go out to dinner, let's go to TGIFriday's because everyone tells me the Jeff Daniels chicken is to die for!

I'm hoping to make tomorrow a regular Juicy Fruit commercial* with all the extreme snowboarding and high-risk antics.

* - i'm talking about the Juicy Fruit commercials from the 1980's with the "hip" trendsetters skiing and surfing in white-water rapids. we need those kind of commericials again.

Thursday, January 15, 2004

When you graduate from high school, it's credit card applications.
When you graduate from college, it's medical insurance.
Hail, hail credit card debt and the ensuing suicide attempt!

first week of work is going as planned. my mentor is a pretty gal that knows what she is doing. Lodi is the KKK Kapital of the World apparently. I've yet to meet the Grand Dragon at the local Subway.

perks: paid mileage, laptop computer, $300 monthly allowance, cellphone, lax working hours. WELCOME TO THE MORTGAGE WORLD

Thursday, January 08, 2004

today i actually responded to emails

it's no fun to type when you have rhino-skin hands. note to self: have intern get me hand lotion.

speaking of interns... how awesome would it be if i had interns working for me by year's end?

NELLY read this: i like your pictures posted. welcome to the 22nd century

Wednesday, January 07, 2004

yet another reason my Dad is cooler than yours: he sings that song "milkshake" by Kelis.

will it be a fluke or will i every day be reporting to work by 9 AM

yesterday was so cold that i actually got/had to wear my wife-choker isotoner gloves.

welcome back from little Havana everyone.
speaking of Havana, a few nights ago i can up with the theory:
Miami + Phoenix = Los Angeles
don't say a word, think about it.

Friday, January 02, 2004

Dress clothes cost too much and they don't even come in the fabric i want... Deerfoam and stretch denim. wouldn't a dress suit with fringe be divine? yeh, i thought so.

kudos to goran for telling me he was in Akron. booooy

Clouds In My Coffee